I for one really wanted to stay. Of course, it’s always cool to be back home in the Philippines. I stayed there for 17 years, and there are tons of memories already made with families and friends. But, that was just it. Those are memories I’d just like to remember one day in the future. Building a life is what I’m doing now here abroad. Oh, wait, before I go there, I guess I’ll just make things clear.

If you read the about me part on the sidebar (still under construction, by the way), I have mentioned that I am a Filipina who lives in New Zealand. Six years ago, my parents were talking about Canada and Australia as possible countries to live. Later, we heard them talking about New Zealand. They didn’t actually broke the news by going “Hey, we’re moving to New Zealand soon…” Nope. They actually were just planning and all, and the five of us (me and my siblings) all just figured it out. I think about a year later, they were planning and doing stuff about it right in front of us. So that pretty much was what broke the news to us.

At first, of course, it wasn’t the plan we wanted to get involved into. I really didn’t like the idea but I didn’t say anything. But I also didn’t go on rebel mode. I just lived my life the way I always do and stayed innocent. But I am lying if I say I didn’t complain about it to my friends. Every year I would tell my friends that there’s a possiblity that we’re moving to New Zealand. I know it wasn’t a good news to tell everyone and I could feel my face wasn’t pasting a smile. I need to tell someone, right? But then every year, I’m still showing up in school. There were no news that we’re moving to New Zealand until 2006.

I think it was 2006 when mom and dad had an interview in Hong Kong (and jeez! They went to Disney HK!!). And that was pretty much the trigger. Dad even went up to me and hugged me then asked if we wanted to go to NZ. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no so I just smiled.

My perspective about moving changed in 2006, which was 4 years later since we found out about the migration plans. Senior year in high school became a hardship year for us. I could feel the need of money, the need of some many things that we can’t have anymore because we needed to focus on more important stuff. And that’s also when I realized that mom and dad are pretty much going through hard times keeping all five of us fed, clothed, sheltered and educated. Two in the family were in college at that time and my tuition fee in high school was around 52k. And us wanting so many things wasn’t helping as well. So I knew, it’s going to be different if we move to New Zealand.

After a year in NZ, I pretty much enjoyed it. I met friends. I became the responsible sister. I started to become independent and do things on my own. I discovered new talents. I pretty much was able to come out of my shell slowly, one by one. (But I’m still growing up, by the way). But mostly because opportunities was opened for my crazy dream. If I were in the Philippines, I’d be totally pessimistic about my Hollywood Dream. But being here in New Zealand gave me hope that maybe someday I get to be there. Who knows, I may not go huge sometime in the future in Hollywood, but I know I’ll be able to experience it. Even just til the audition doors. If not for acting, modeling then.

But anyway, I’m not here to post the difference between Philippines and New Zealand because, you know what? They’re both my home. I was able to grow up in a place where we all get to laugh and have fun and now I was able to live a life full of opportunities. Who gets to have that in their lives? I’m lucky to have that kind of opportunity.

Actually I’m here to post about the fact that our staying power in New Zealand is getting weaker. Our biggest chance of getting our permanent residency now is mom as the principal. Dad’s work to resident visa will permit him to work until June 12 which is in two days T.T… But they’re working on switching the visas so mom can apply for residency. It took forever to apply for residency because dad wants to find a stable job first before switching. But after two years of not getting a job that’ll get our permanent residency, it’s time for the last chance. And through that, I am hoping that someday, we’ll be granted our permanent residency that will keep us here in New Zealand.

It’s pretty sad if after 2 years of staying here in NZ, we’re just going to go back to the Philippines as if we it didn’t change our life. NZ has changed me for the better. Not entirely, but I know my life turned up-side-down when we got here. Lots of realization and eye opener have crossed my path, so why would I want to waste all that? But like I always say and believe, things happen for a reason. Like having to wait for school because I have to realize first what course should I take seriously. Now I know EXACTLY what I want.

I really, really wanted to stay. And hopefully, our last hope will keep us here in New Zealand. There will always be so many chances and opportunities to visit the Philippines and see my family and friends. But the oppotunity for a brighter future is right here. I’m not going to let it go. Still praying to God for the blessing. I know He’s listening.

Well, that was a bit long and it was also hard to say all that in English. Hahaha… Till next time!

Music: Gotta Go My Own Way – Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron