I admit, when January 2010 came, I did not look forward to it. Maybe it was because of the fact that I’m stuck in the past. I thought if I leave 2009 all the good things that had happened will leave me as well. I was too scared for what 2010 will bring. I’ve enjoyed 2009 so much that I have no idea if 2010 will be as good as or not. I was too stupid to doubt the Lord’s plans. I was too stupid to not trust that this is going to be an awesome year as well. Maybe bigger challenges will come, but I know I have the Lord to hold on to. The first wednesday of the year changed my views. We had a fellowship so we did a really awesome worship that night. One of the best worships I had.

I’m not lying when I say I felt someone hug me and it wasn’t anyone in the group. It was definitely a hug you’ll never forget. I was doing things not exactly on purpose. I mean, yes it’s me doing it and I know I’m doing it but there’s something else. You know it’s not JUST you doing it. I love the feeling. The feeling like I’m free, I’m clean like all my worries are gone. And yes! It’s the best feeling ever!! I LOVE YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are the best that has happened to my life and I’m thankful for all the blessings you gave me. Thank you so much! I Love you

Music: None
Movie: Jennifer’s Body

Note: isn’t weird that I’m watching a devil movie when I’m talking about Jesus Christ….. Actually no. I feel safe. I know I’m safe when I’m with Christ. So no devil is here to destroy my life.

So I’ve found this way to get loads of movies and I can’t stop myself from having a movie marathon. I’ve seen The Proposal, Confessions or a Shoppaholic, Ghosts of Girlfriend’s Past and loads more since 2010 came. Guess I’m back to becoming a movie addict. It’s just freakin cool. I get to watch these movies in my own room, and gosh the beauty of it.

After watching these movies, the best I’ve seen was Confessions of a Shopaholic. I know it’s been ten years since it came out.. er not literally.. but I just got the chance to see it. I might actually watch it over and over and wait for the next one to come out. I’m intrigued at the book and how it went in there. So yey! I’m not really good at all these review stuff but I just clearly love it. Number one coz it’s all about fashion! Damn… And I can’t help but remember my lovely cousin throughout the movie. If there’s someone out there who knows a lot about it, it’s my cousin.

Well, anyway… Aside from movie marathon-ing, I’ve been making myself busy with webdesigning. Keeping Vanessa-Hudgens.ORG alive and still try and make Mark-Salling.NET online. I’ve others in line but these are my priorities. I’m doing this to try and put my mind away from the fact that I’ll be waiting a YEAR to go back to school. I know. It’s a misery… and I’ll be very, very much unknown to the whole school thing once I get back. I do hope I’ll be so ready when that day comes. Soooooo…. fingers crossed for a year!

Happy New Year friends!! Looking forward to 2010!

Music: none

It’s the 24th. The Eve of Christmas… Noche Bueana in the Philippines in a few hours. And even if I’m not with my whole family in the Philippines, Christmas is still the time to be together and to have an awesome time with friends and family. Here’s my message to all my friends who have been such a great addition and part of my life. 2009 has indeed become the best yer of my life, and thanks to my friends, they made it extra gorgeous! Have a happy Christmas and blessed 2010! Take care and love you all.

Wanna know how it feels like to be visited by Kamatayan during your sleep? Don’t ever wish it. It’s not pleasant. I was visited by Kamatayan once in my sleep. It was so scary, I didn’t know what to do but pray. I was hoping not see a dead person lying next to me, and thankfully it didn’t happen. Maaaan it was freaking-scary… This is what happened:

I was sleeping so deep when I felt a little conscious as if I woke up. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Then suddenly the feel of the room changed. It felt weird. Like really dark. Then he, Kamatayan, just showed up in my room from the door as if he entered through it. Read the rest of this entry »

Photograph by Josine. Spoof Shirt. Gold clock necklace from Ira.

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… love is something develops through time.

… love is something you shouldn’t persuade your heart to feel.

… love is something that comes in the right time.

… love is something that takes a while before you see it.

… love is something you won’t be able to force.

… love is something that comes in the unexpected way.

… love is there.

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At our house before going to Ira’s [12.02.09]

I’m at Ira’s place at the moment having our sleepover since for like a year now! Hahaha, a dear friend of ours just got back from Australia and it’s cool seeing him again. I missed John sooooo much…

Well, at this moment, I was just looking through facebook not really knowing what to do. I should be sleeping by now since I have to wake up at 8 coz I’m going uni hopping with Ivy and Majoe tomorrow! Err more like later since it’s 2am.

Well yeah, we’re going vic and massey tomorrow since we will go inquire about CUP and courses for next yr. I’m still wishing for permanent residency for Christmas so HOPEFULLY we get it coz i really want to go to school

Oh and speaking of Christmas, check this out:

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This pretty much my good news two weeks ago when I received an email from Talent Scouts. It’s so cool they considered my application and will be representing me. This is sooooooo super exciting. Friends congratulated… others I know just didn’t bother. So I won’t bother venting here coz I’m excited! I’m having my portfolio photoshoot this saturday and I can’t wait to have the experience. It’s so cool! Sharing pictures might be hard, though, since it’s copyrighted. Hehehe…

Also, not long ago… It was Friday last week (dad’s birthday) I had an audition for Toi Whakaari. I spent the whole time trying to stay focused and keeping my heart rate to normal since I felt like it’s going to fall anytime. I was the last to audition, which means there were 6 other people who auditioned that I had to watch before I had a go. I think I spent the entire time plotting ways on how I can run out of that door and not do it. Thankfully, my feet stayed on the ground and I was able to audition. It was cool when I was doing it. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but I’m proud that I did it. Even if I won’t get in, I’m proud to be able to do the audition. It was my first ever audition, which is why it was a huge deal for me. And what’s great about it, I also met new people. You see, God doesn’t really want us to give things up, especially when we know we love it. And He sprinkles a few more extras on the way.

Well, that night was Angelo’s surprise birthday party. I’m sure you’re very surprised. But I wasn’t able to come, so Angelo, if you’re reading the blog, sorry wasn’t able to come on your 21st. Happy Late Birthday, though! I’m so glad to have you as a friend Thanks for everything and enjoy your 21st year. It’s not that bad

Guess what I discovered today! Well, doing absolutely NOTHING can be absolutely tiring. Since I don’t go to school yet and I don’t have a job, I just stay in my room curled up in my bed thinking. And all I think about is just some random things like what would it be like to be in school, to study, to be in LA, my future plans that will probably never going to happen, people’s relationships, celebrity couples, what to eat, what to do, where is who, and all other random stuff that could enter my mind and seriously, it’s not healthy. I find it really stressful.

What I hate about too much thinking is that you get to find out things that are really, really frustrating. Right now, for the past months, I have realized how much I have missed so many things by not going to school. I mean, for example, three years ago, I graduated from high school in the Philippines and going to college is the next step. Taking a break from that is not a bad idea. But taking a break from it for 3 years definitely wasn’t the best idea there is. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. It’s just one of the many things I realized that was pretty frustrating and I am not in the mood to list them all out. It’s.. err frustrating.

I’d rather feel physically exhausted than mentally exhausted. It means that you’re body is working out when you are physically tired. But mentally tired? Means you’re thinking too much and not taking a break. But how can I when I’ve got nothing to distract my mind. I need something to distract my mind. I’m not sure if jogging/walking would be good, since it’s also one of the times you get to think. I’ve already fixed the house, so no reason to do it again. HMM… or maybe I’ll fix my room instead. Err Whatever. I need something to distract me. Like study, maybe? Like get ready for school? ARGGG I’m thinking way too much again! Websites don’t even distract me anymore! This is sooooooooo stupid!!

Anyway, if you can suggest things to do that is not making websites, getting a job and going to school, please do share. I’d appreciate that

Music: I Won’t Disagree by Kate Voegele
^^ I love this song! It’s so me right now. It’s what I feel towards.. err him